Middle Child Syndrome

Some recent conversations with A. that make me wonder about middle child syndrome and how to avoid it's pitfalls:

Me (to R.): Are you still interested in taking piano lessons?

A: *I* want to take violin lessons!

Me (to A.): When you are older we can sign you up for lessons, okay?

A: When I'm older and six like R.?

Me: Yup. And this fall you are going to be taking gymnastics again, right? That will be fun!

A: Yeah.... [pause for thought]... But, I wanted to be born first!



And the next day at dinnertime...



A: I want to be a baby again like E.

Me: Why?

A: So I can have a paci.

Me: Why would you want a paci?

A: I don't know, I just do.


She is such a lovey-girl who is so very social and mostly sweet. ;-) At times, she is very much three (going on four soon!!) in that she can be very ornery and independent. She is her own special blend of sweetness and spice! I never want her to feel "lost in the middle" or "left out" or "second best." I feel like she is already starting to have those thought running through her head and I need to find a way to head them off at the pass. This fall I will have more time to spend with her when she is not having to compete with both sisters but she will still be "sharing" me with E. most of the time. I am hopeful that with my in-laws moving in two doors down I can try to make the time to spend one-on-one time with each of the girls - it's definitely something to keep in mind. This summer has been a tough one because my in-laws have been extremely busy with settling into their new house and so there hasn't been the opportunity to create that one-on-one time. Perhaps as they get more settled this fall and can help out a little more I can carve out some space for each of my girls.

Another recent example of A. noticing how much she has to share me came up this morning when the girls were setting the breakfast table. R. had set the table so that I was on one end and I had R. on one side of me and A. on the other. When R. came back to the kitchen to get the syrup out of the fridge A. moved my plate to her side of the table - effectively moving me away from R. If that isn't a hostile move indicating her desire to have me all to herself I don't know what is! R. cried foul and A. screeched that she wanted me to sit next to just her. I had to instruct A. to put the plate back or "suffer the consequences" even as my heart ached for her need for a little extra piece of me.

I'm just starting to wonder how the heck I can divided myself so evenly with three. There are only two sides of me to sit near! What happens when E. becomes aware enough to demand a "side" of me at the dinner table? Or when we sit on the couch to read a story together? For now she can sit on my lap while the other two each get their "side"...but eventually I fear I am going to need to figure out a way to grow another side!

Darn it - where is that cloning device?