Are we there yet?

I am counting down the last couple of weeks of summer in agony - a double-edged sword of agony.

I am relishing the thought of having one kid in school full-time, one in half-day preschool and the other still young enough to nap -- so perhaps I can sneak in a few quiet moments for myself once the school year starts! In that vein I'm counting down the last two weeks and saying "hurry up already!" I listen to R. count the days left until school on her calendar and I cringe because I want it to come NOW! (Yes, I'm taking lessons from my 3.5 year old on instant gratification. Funny thing - it doesn't work for me to say I want something NOW either. I wonder when she'll finally figure that out?)

On the other hand, there is the part of me that is trying to hold on to those last couple of weeks of summer and never let go. This is in part because my birthday falls at the end of summer. As a kid that was always a bit of a downer -- I couldn't ever be too excited about my birthday arriving because that would also mean the end of the carefree days of summer! How could I bear to wish for the start of school that always arrived on the heels of my special day and yet how could I not be excited about another birthday and all that goes along with it? Now that I'm older and wishing for school to start for my kids (but not me anymore - heh) I am by matter of association wishing for that next birthday to come crashing down on me and reminding me of another year gone by (I'm gonna be HOW OLD?). Somehow things have gotten all mixed up. I used to wish for my birthday to come but not for school to start and now it's just the opposite! Life is weird like that.

Plus, I am enjoying the relaxed, unstructured days of summer when I am not rushing in the morning to get the kids lunches packed and get them off to school. I can actually sit and enjoy a big mug of coffee before I packed the kids up for the day's adventure or just go outside and fill up the wading pool and let them splash. Ok, so some days are idyllic like that...some days, well, not so much.

Like I said, it's a double-edged sword. I want to have my cake and eat it too. I want some peaceful, free (me) time and I want to enjoy the lazy days of summer at the same time. But, as a mom of young children the two just don't coincide.

And speaking of getting the kids off to school, this year is going to be much less relaxed than last year. Last year A. attended a home-based daycare/preschool program two mornings a week. And the one she attneded is located right next door. So, on the mornings that A. went to "school" I would get the two lunches packed and get R. off on the bus at 8:15 followed by walking A. to the next door neighbor's house. How freakin' perfect was that? In fact, there were a couple of times when I would run her over there and leave E. peacefully still asleep in her crib (so as not to break the cardinal rule against waking a sleeping baby!). This year, however, the morning routine will be a bit more complicated. R.'s bus will still stop here at around 8:15 and then four mornings a week I need to get A. all geared up with a backpack, some days a lunch, and eventually a coat, hat, and mittens (ditto for E.), strap them into the car and drive up to A.'s school by 8:45. Pick-up time will be equally less convenient than this year. I will have to keep E. from napping or wake her early (depending her schedule that particular day) and get her bundled into the car for a midday pick-up time. (BTW, can you figure out why I decided NOT to go back to work even on a part-time basis this fall?) It was much more convenient last year when I could leave E. napping to run next door and pick-up A. from school. A. could have continued to go to my next door neighbor's preschool if I had made such arrangements last winter (she is in such high demand because she is such an awesome daycare provider that the slots fill up months and months in advance) but I also love the preschool R. attended and wanted A. to have the same 2-year stint in that program. E. will most likely attend the same preschool when she is old enough but we"ll cross that bridge when we come to it (not for a few years, thank goodness...I want her to stay a baby for a while longer, please).

R. and A. are both looking forward to the start of school at this point. Now that they have their calendars A. has stopped asking incessantly about the start of school but she has made more than a few references to the kids she met at the preschool camp and how she wants them to come over for a playdate. I'm glad she has already started to see those kids as friends and am constantly amazed at how she approaches things in such a different way when compared with her older sister! R. just found out that she will be in Mrs. C's class this coming year. That is the split 1st/2nd grade classroom and I'm trying to be upbeat and positive so she looks towards the new year with happy anticipation and not anxiety. However, I still do have some reservations about how this classroom will work out and am a bit nervous about the fact that R. has now been placed in this classroom for the next two years - for better or worse. I can only hope and prayer that it work out to be for the better. The fact that she is in the classroom only serves to positively reinforce my decision not to work this year. At least I will be able to carve out some time to volunteer as needed and provide additional support during this crucial year when they are experiementing with the split-grade class. And I'll be around to more fully support R. if there are issues to be dealt with or if things are not going as smoothly as she or I would like.

So, we now have less than two weeks to go (or 13 freakin' more days to go - depending on how my conflicted mind chooses to look at it) and R. will actually be at camp most of next week. I've called around to see where certain other "favored" kids will be placed for 1st grade next year and have found at least two of her "known quantity" classmates will be joining her in Mrs. C's class. She was happy to know that there will be a couple of familiar faces when she enters her 1st grade classroom for the first time. (I, on the other hand, was pleased to hear about one classmate and let's just say not completely excited to hear about the other). In preparation for her arrival in her new class, I also told her about the fact that she will be in a class with 1st and 2nd graders and that I had already met her teacher and liked her very much. So far she in taking the news about the split 1/2 class in stride. She can be a bit of a worrywart and also needs advance warning when it comes to certain information. My timing isn't always perfect as far as what to tell her and when, but she seemed to be okay with it so far. I'm going to keep up the happy-go-lucky attitude and hope she follows suit. And I'm going to say a little prayer that things go as well as I keep telling her (and myself) they will.

Gee - I wonder where those worrywart tendencies come from? Hmmmm...