In Which I Take My Opinions for a Test Drive...

Lately, I feel like I've broken out of a shell of sorts. I'm not usually one to make waves, I hate confrontation and I'm not a very effective in debate situations. I like things to be happy, calm and peaceable - you could say I'm a Pollyanna of sorts...

I like to look on the bright side and I generally search for the proverbial silver lining. I don't like when there is friction or unrest. I guess I'm a people-pleaser in that I don't like when someone is mad at me. It can get under my skin and really bother me. Recently, I've put myself out there in a couple of situations where I've spoken my mind or made my concerns known and it has created that tension that I'm just not very good at dealing with.

In one instance it was with the school regarding concerns for next year. I won't go into the boring details but Rick and I had a long meeting with the principal and at the time he seemed to listen to our concerns. We were promised that we would have placement information before the end of the school year (which is Friday). We have not yet heard from him and I need to follow up on that. I have made it as clear as possible which teacher I want her to have - we'll see if they listened. Fingers crossed. I've probably ticked off her current teacher with my emails and with our meeting with the principal where we discussed our issues with the classroom in general as well as the issues we have with the teacher. I think she is beginning to feel the heat and maybe it will cause her to make some changes in the way she does things (or more accurately put a fire under her butt to get her to do what she should be doing, but isn't). Anyway...I've since learned that we are, by far, not the only parents who are concerned about the 2nd grade placements regarding this teacher. Many other parents are calling for a meeting with the principal before the end of this school year (or shortly thereafter) to discuss some of the basic issues. It will be interesting to see if there is a meeting and you can be sure I'll be there. I don't know how vocal I will be since that is not one of my strengths but I hope I can add to the dialogue in an effective and productive way. I don't want this to end up just being a chance to find faults and point fingers - I want this to be a meeting that will create some solutions to the problems and ensure that next year is a much better year for all the children who are placed in her class.

Another monkey on my back is a recent round of emails that occurred with a group of moms/ friends that I met when R was born 7 years ago. We've been getting together - both with kids and without - over the years and there is an 'issue' that came up that has caused some heated discussion, some tension and some hurt feelings. Again, the details are not important, but I feel like a comment that I made (in response to a direct question by another mom) started this avalanche of emails. The group is in a very rough spot right now and I am hopeful (as always...remember Pollyanna?) that we can eventually regroup and get back on track. But, I don't quite know yet how this will play out and what comes next.

At times like these, there is a part of me that says I should just do what I usually do and keep my mouth shut. But there is also a part of me that says "Hey - my opinion should count for something." I'm finding that the latter part of me is making itself known more and more the older I get and the longer I've been a mom and need to stand up for my own kids. Unfortunately, I'm also finding, as I have always suspected, that taking those risks and putting ones opinions out there doesn't generally lead to the path of least resistance. And even if, in the end, you find some peace and tranquility and perhaps have opened some lines of communication, there will always be those bumps and potholes along the way that can make for an uncomfortable ride.