Loooong week, looooong post

It' s Friday. Whew - what a week.

I started walking again in the morning this week - the month of August was a complete loss as far as the journey out of EW goes (or gain, as the case may be, but I haven't bothered to step on the scale to find out....and I just realized that the shorthand for Elastic Waistland is very appropriate given it is EW or more like "ewwwwww"). I think that has a lot to do with how tired I've been feeling. It's hard getting used to the early wake-up time again. But, it's gotta start happening more regularly now that E seems to be sleeping better at night. I will feel more alert and energetic if I can get out on my morning walks and lose more of the stuff that is weighing me down (yeah, you know - the FAT - just call it what it is, Jeanne, and deal with it).

Last night, I was so beat I went to bed at 8:00 just after getting the kids down for the night. That was, in part, due to an emotional morning at church - I attended a funeral service for a sweet lady who passed away this Sunday. She was one of the "crafty ladies" - a group of women who make homemade items to sell at the church fair every fall - and her passing has left a huge hole in our congregation and in our little crafty group. She will be missed so very much. Say a little prayer for Eunice and her family if you are the praying type.

Lucky for me, E slept through last night and I got a huge chunk of unterrupted sleep - the likes of which I haven't had in many moons. It felt good. I did not, however, get up and walk - which feels bad...or at least makes me feel a tiny bit guilty. But, it was nice to have some snuggle time this morning with Rick before starting the day.

R went off pretty happily to school today - mornings are going much smoother this year than last year and I don't know what to attribute that to aside from the age difference/maturity. She seems more sure of herself as a 1st grader - she isn't the youngest and now knows the ropes at school (well, mostly, she still hasn't found out where the white milk is in the lunch line... LOL...last year the teachers/aides would bring a cart of school lunches to the classroom for the kindergarteners who bought lunch so this is her first year of dealing with the lunchline). Overall, she is enjoying being a 1st grader and is making friends at school. However, after hearing a few choice comments from R about school this week I became a bit worried about her placement in the split 1st/2nd grade class. First of all, the friends she is making seem to be mostly 2nd graders. I am not hearing much about any 1st graders at all. Her 'best friend' so far this year is a very sweet 2nd grader who lives in our neighborhood. I worry that next year when she stays in the current class she is in and her 'best friends' move on to 3rd grade she is going to feel like she is being left behind. She has always gravitated towards the older kids (when she was a toddler/preschooler it was due to the fact that her verbal skills better matched kids who were at least a year older than she was but even now she seems to prefer kids who are older for some reason). I worry that next year when she is one of the oldest in her class (she and her 1st grade classmates stay in that class as 2nd graders and a new crop of incoming 1st graders join them) she won't necessary have close ties to her same-aged peers and she is not likely to make connections with the younger kids. This is the first year that she has really talked a lot about having close friends so I am a bit worried she will make some great friends only to lose them when they move ahead to 3rd grade without her. I know it won't be the end of the world and I wasn't incredibly worried...but then R came home on her early release day (every Wednesday the elementary schools get out 2 hours early in order to give teachers extra planning time during the week) and she made a comment that piqued my concern. I asked her what she did and she, as usual, was reluctant to talk about her day. So, I asked her if she could tell me what the best thing about her day was...

R: "That we didn't have math today!"

Me: "Wait. Why would that be the best thing? You are really good at math."

R: "Well, I didn't like having to make stairs. It was boring!"

Me: (confused) "Stairs? You were making stairs? How did you do that?"

R: "We had to use these interlocking blocks to build these stairs....it's hard to explain...but the 2nd graders got to do math with numbers and I wanted to do that instead."

Me: "Did you ask if you could do that with the 2nd graders?"

R: "Yes. But, the teacher said I couldn't- she said I had to do the steps and it was too easy. I could do what the 2nd graders were doing and they wouldn't let me."

Me: (out loud) "Well, ya know, right now the teachers need to do some things to learn about you and the other kids because they don't know what you are capable of yet. Once you've been in the class for a little while and they find out what you know you'll be able to do more in the classroom. Just hang in there for a bit, okay?" (inside: "Shit. Shit. Shit. Now what?" followed by an internal dialogue regarding her intelligence, her placement in this class, and who I need to get a hold of...and how considering the fact that I didn't have ANY info from her classroom teacher yet about much of ANYTHING except a snack food request--very frustrating after she had the best Kindergarten teacher on the planet, especially when it came to communication).

So, I decided that I needed to get in NOW to talk to the teacher about my concerns. I was not about to wait until the school's Open House Night which isn't until the 27th. I had received that snack food request (parents are asked to supply food and supplies for the class snack pantry every so often) so I decided to use that as my "in" - I went shopping and bought napkins, cups, pretzels, individual applesauce cups, and spoons. Yesterday, on my way to pick up A from preschool I stopped by the school with my 'goodies' and delivered them to the classroom. Funny enough, R was apparently engrossed in a book at the back of the classroom so I didn't see her in the 3 minutes I was there and she never saw me either - this worked out well because I wanted to have a few private word with the teacher. When I entered the room the teacher was on the floor with a small group of kids who all had the same book in front of them that they were discussing. I apologized for interrupting and introduced myself. She recognized me from the meeting but said she couldn't place whose mom I was which was totally understandable. I let her know about the stuff I was delivering and also mentioned that I had signed up to be one of her classroom parent volunteers. I told her we could talk more about what kind of help she needed. Then, I just threw in a little "and I wanted to talk to you about R at some point, as well" and she got up and headed to her desk to write out her email and home phone number for me (yay! contact info - just what I need!). On the way over to her desk I gave her a very, very brief synopsis of what was making me nervous. I wanted her to know how R was feeling about the classwork because R has never been anything but enthusiastic about school and I am worried that if she is not being challenged that she is going to be bored and stop being so excited about school - which would, in a word, suck. She was actually very happy that I told her because as she said "this is the kind of thing that I need to hear about" so that she can more easily figure out the needs of each student. She told me to reassure R that right now the classroom is in a period of adjustment and that things will be changing as she gets an idea of the abilities of each kid. She also commented on the fact that R was connecting with certain 2nd graders (it was nice that she had noticed that, too) and she mentioned how well R is doing with her reading. I let her know that R has only just recently had it "click" for her over the last month or so. She went from reading "well known" board books where she had them practically memorized to being able to pick up a chapter book and read a page or two out of it with only help with a few tough words.

In that short 2.5 minute conversation with her teacher I became much less worried, but also very glad that I brought the issue to the teacher's attention. I did not want to stew about it for the next two weeks wondering if R was going to be befriending some great 2nd graders and also be capable of some of the 2nd grade work only to be told that she would not be able to do what her friends were doing because she is a 1st grader and needs to work "over there" with them. Ugh. I think that would be horrible for her on so many levels. She is a bright kid. She is an intense kid. She is perceptive and she feels things deeply.

I just hope that the teacher makes the appropriate changes sooner rather than later and that R doesn't get lost in the shuffle since she is not one to make waves or speak up to the teacher. I know that I need to be her advocate and I want to try to do that in a positive way in regards to the teacher. I don't want to be the pushy, obnoxious parent. I'm really glad that I signed on as classroom parent so I can keep my eyes and ears on the situation and have an excuse for hanging around the classroom!

As for A - she had two days of preschool and she is loving it! She is making lots of friends (no surprise) and loving every minute. She is also sharing all kinds of stories with us at dinnertime about what she did during her time at school (this is new and exciting for us since getting info out of R is like pulling teeth!). She is coming home with beautiful artwork, craft projects and
drawings and she wishes she could go to school as much as R does. She misses R in the afternoons and she was so bummed today because her preschool schedule is Monday through Thursday so she didn't get to go to school this morning like R. But, I made it up to her by taking her to the Eric Carle Museum storytime. We met my friend J and her 3 year old daughter N there which was great fun for both girls.

So, aside from all that the week was full of the usual - laundry, grocery shopping, dishes, reading stories, kissing boo-boos, nursing, rocking, diaper changes, paying bills, vacuuming, sweeping up a gazillion cheerios off the floor, cooking, cleaning toilets, making beds....the list is endless. And I'm pooped.