Things I am NOT good at...

Per Karyn's request (sort of) here are a list of thing I am decidedly NOT good at:

1. Dancing. I ain't got rhythm. I do like to dance, mind you. I quite enjoy it when the beat is good and the mood strikes. But, it is probably not all that pretty to watch.

2. Singing. Even with a can of cooking spray (and a bucket in hand) I am not able to carry a tune. I like to belt it out in the car at times but I am quite often chastised by my offspring and asked to not sing so they can hear the "good music."

3. Cooking. Rick's actually a much better cook than I am. Give me a recipe and I can certainly follow it okay and come up with something that is usually edible, but I am not creative or adventurous when it comes to cooking. Rick rarely follows a recipe and although on occasion his creations are at worst bland, they are always edible and are quite often attractive and tasty! I think that's why I like baking. You almost always HAVE to follow the recipe when you bake and you can mix it up and then throw it in the oven and forget about it for a while. And I have a major sweet tooth which is always satisfied by the baked goods I create! So, although I've been accused of being Martha on crack (ahem.), no one can rightly call me Rachael Ray on steriods.

4. Lying. I tend to be an honest person and I come by it naturally. In part, because I do much better with honesty than with lying. I can't lie to pull a prank on anyone because I can't keep a straight face or I blush or do something that acts like a neon light across my face blinking out the words "SHE'S LYING"! Generally, this is not a bad thing, but I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to keep up the holiday charade (Easter Bunny, Santa, and the like...) with my girls. R, in particular. She's already come out and said that she has it all figured out, but luckily we've had these conversations while I'm driving and she can't actually see my face - otherwise, I'd be a goner and she'd be "in the know." Gah. I hate those conversations with my kids - they just feel so WRONG! And yet, I know that it never harmed me to believe in all that stuff when I was little (I think I was about 8 when I was finally "in the know") and there's an element of innocence to it that I don't want them to lose yet....

5. Public speaking. I get red in the face, I talk waaaay too fast and I just hate it. I'm no good at it. I think I managed to get a C- in Speech class in high school and that was being way too generous.

6. Writing. I have been working on my writing with this blog, but I don't feel like I have a special talent or knack for it. I am envious of the talents of those who can write. I could never imagine myself writing a novel or even a short story. I don't feel I have that kind of creativity in me, although I wish I did.

7. Telling jokes. In some ways, this one goes along with #4 (lying) and #5 (public speaking). I'm just not very good at keeping things straight when telling jokes (aside from corny knock, knocks). Sometimes I leave out some important information and thus the joke makes absolutely no sense or sometimes I get half-way through and forget the punch line! It's bad. My dad is a great storyteller and always had a joke or four or five to tell. And he's really good at it. I obviously did not inherit his talents...but he did teach me to play a mean game of pool!

So, there's a quick list off the top of my head. There is certainly more and maybe I'll update with additions to the list as I think of them. For now, I hope I've at least satisfied Karyn's curiosity. ;-)

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Back to add (how could I leave this off the list?) that I cannot perform the drunken bar trick of tying a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue! Check out those two links for evidence - and an actual successful attempt - of those who can.