Baby dolls, Barbies, and...Boys?

A has a little friend from preschool over to play today. This is not the first time she's had a playdate with a friend from school but this is the first playdate with a friend from school who also happens to be a boy.

When R would bring home a friend from preschool I knew that - whether it be a boy or a girl - things would work out fine because there were plenty of gender-neutral things for them to do together. In fact, R seemed to gravitate toward the boys at that age and always wanted to invite the boys over to play and they had great times. She almost never invited girls - I think because at school they showed their love for baby dolls, barbies and playing house which R was not exactly excited about. R loves animals. She loves art and drawing. She loves building with blocks and lego. She loves nature (although she's not very keen on getting dirty - go figure). And at that preschool age there was always the Thomas train set that she and the boys loved to play with.

A is definitely a girly-girl. She loves to play barbies. She loves dress-up. She loves anything to do with princesses and ballerinas. She will also play with matchbox cars, trains, and blocks but they are certainly not the preferred items of interest. She had a great year at my neighbors daycare last year where she spent Tuesday and Thursday mornings playing with a gaggle of girls all within the approximately 1-4 year range. They played with babies, princesses, dress-up and would create very intricate, very girly, pretend play scenarios. This year at school she's made some friends with a few choice girls and there have been a few playdates where they do their typical girl-play of babies dolls, barbies, and the like, and they have so much fun together. So, when she first suggested that we have N over to play I thought it was a great idea since it was the first time she wanted to invite a little boy to play. One morning we were walking into school with N and his mom and A turned to them and said "My mom said N can come over to play with me and we are going to play barbies together!" N looked less than enthused by the barbie idea and I quickly added that we had plenty of stuff to play with at home and listed off a bunch of things that he might find more enticing and I think that helped sweeten the deal a bit as far as he was concerned.

So, earlier in the week I touched base with his parents and we worked out a playdate after school for this afternoon. All week A has been anxiously awaiting the 'big day' when N would be coming over to play. She kept talking about how fun it would be and that they would play barbies or maybe with the plastic Disney princess figurines. I hated to burst her little bubble but I explained that different kids like to play different things and that barbies and princesses might not be all that interesting or fun for him. I told her that she could ask him but that it was OK if he said no and I'm sure they could find other things to play together. She seemed at first to agree with that statement but added with a hint of desperation in her voice "maybe N likes to play with boy barbies!"

At school I think A asked N about barbies because in the car on the way home the subject came up again. N reported that he "only likes boy barbies" and that he has a "pirate barbie at home that came with two guns and a sword, but the two guns got lost." I have to wonder how much good ol' mom had to do with the guns mysteriously getting 'lost'? I know that on occasion around here certain undesirable items have gone missing overnight. ("Gee, honey, I don't know where you could have left it. I'll keep my eye out for it and let you know if I find it." Heh.)

So, this afternoon they had a great playdate together. They actually did play briefly with the barbies and N was given the lone boy barbie (Adain from the Barbie movie with the Pegasus in it) - unfortunately they couldn't find his pants so he was half naked. But, N was a good sport and they did play barbies for a short while. They also found plenty of other things to do - building with legos and blocks, playing with matchbox cars, and even a bit of dress-up:



I was changing E's diaper in her room when I overheard the following conversation between A and N on their way to the basement playroom.

A (dressed as Queen): Let's go downstairs and play, N.!

N (dressed as King): Ok.

A: We'll pretend we are going to a ball, right? And we will dance at the ball.

N: No, we're not going to dance.

A (hopeful): We'll be singers at the ball, then, right?

N (indignant): No we will not! We are just going to watch!

A (persistently hopeful): We are going to watch a prince and princess get married, right?

N: Yeah. Sure.

N is such a good sport. When his mom came to pick him up she thanked us for the playdate and said she was happy that A wanted to have N over. He is the middle child of three boys (so he and A have that middle child thing in common, at least!) and she was happy that he got some exposure to girl play - just as I was happy to give A a chance to expand her play beyond barbies and princesses...well, at least for part of the time! N's mom told A that next time they could have a playdate at N's house. She's already very excited by that idea and I'm sure I'll be fielding the "when" question a lot until we get a firm date set. In the meantime, I think we need to work on inviting other boys over to play at our house for a change of pace now and then.